Dear Blog,
Today is a day of pretty free-ness ending with sudden busyness. not much tdm cases but at 5pm, HBM sent us a neonate genta level...grrrr....lunch was good but i was manipulated by reps of RHB, citibank and standard charted to apply for their credit cards...double grrrr...or rather.....triple grrrrr..well, at least i got some free gifts
Today finally met Dr Chelsia!!!wonderful...hopefully we can go watch movies together soon!hmmm...today my post tdm drive home was full of thoughts. Mainly is because the stupid TDM level for the neonate of approx 2kg was pre 1.05 and post 0.9. Lucky miss Teoh was around and immediately spotted the fact that this is a missed dose case. when we called w1, the SN insist that she did serve the dose. grrrrrrrrrrrrr
well, we just informed the results and told them to intepret themselves. because we realise if the SN indeed served the dose we would double dose the child with our recommendation. So it was a period of informing both clinical pharmacist at HBM, the ward, and the on-call pharmacist.
however, when i got home,i was contemplating long distance relationships and its joys and tears. i was in a long distance relationship once and it did not last. I can still remember the feeling of love fading as each day goes by, the angry phone calls, tears, and a pretty messy break-up in the end.
Exhibit A,
"love hurts whether its right or wrong"-avril lavigne
A and B were in love, or at least A thought she was. Just out of high school, they were good friends, they thought they were going to see the world together, hand in hand. but then the fates did not allow that. to explain, firstly i must mention that they were both academically prognostic and hoped to pursue higher education overseas. they both applied for scholarships and the heartbreak began the day the results was announced. A did not succeed but B did. he was to leave immediately the next week and will be bound for a 5 year programme in Korea. A had two loses that day, first she did not achieve my dream of going overseas and 2nd, her then other half is leaving. she remembered not feeling the taste of food, hunger, pain or heat. it presisted for a few weeks. then her scholarship appeal results came out and she got the scholarship. but that also meant the end of her relationship which she then found out. she was to go to Australia to study for 4 years. Yes, A was happy to achieve her dream but it also meant that she and him will be separated into two hemispheres of the globe. A tearful 2 months followed as they cherished their last months together studying a prep course for students who are going overseas. and the day came when A said goodbye at the airport.
A never realised that love could fade so easily, it started when what used to be enjoyable became a dread. IM-ing him because less and less frequently and she started to dread his calls or emails. love slipped away silently. The fact that she was not able to physically hold him or for him to be there for her when she needed him most was the biggest factor. one day she just couldnt take it anymore and broke up with him.
it wasnt a pretty break-up as a few months later, A met another mr. right. B thinks A left him for another and refuse to believe A when she denies, broke into her email and violated her privacy rights. that was the ugly part. The uglier part?mr. right became mr. wrong in less than 6 months. A was stressed and depressed and her own family was on the brink of being torn apart. mr.right/wrong left for all the reasons that A need him at her side the most for. her heart was crushed. she learned not to ever love again.
Exhibit B
X and Y met at university, and had a wonderful 2.5 years dating. endless movies, dinners, holidays, romantic walks............the whole package.......X even made promises to Y that they will eventually marry, making plans to buy a house etc etc. Y thought she was giong to spend the rest of her life with him. But one day he complained about her attitude and told her he did not love her anymore. He then broke up with her.
Exhibit C
W and V was lovers in high school and pre university but went to different states for university after graduation. Things progressed from frequent phone calls, IMs and email to one person dreading or taking for granted these are important. V no longer felt the need to rush to the phone when he calls, or feel that thump going in her heart when she receives his email. when he visits, she rather spend her time with someone else. They eventually parted amicably
Exhibit D
two persons who have been married for a long time, lives together physically but is apart mentally. 20 years of fights over trivial issues such as money, children, money, money....and are still fighting, cold wars, outright yelling, silent treatments. communication i believe is the key to all happy relationships and apparently this is not present in this couple. what is the point of remaining married when you are not happy nor in love?
based on exhibit A, B, C and D i suppose we could safely assume that long distance relationships do not work?i humbly ask your opinion. i for one learned my lesson and bore it well for one of these exhibits was my own story.
this is not saying that you shouldnt pursue long distance relationships. i strong suggest that you do, the only thing is to recognise when love no longer exists and knowing how to let go when that happens. to all my friends who are in long distance relationships, i wish you all the best and to all my single friends, all the best in finding mr/miss right.
每次到了夜深人靜的時候我總是睡不著
我懷疑是不是只有我的明天沒有變得更好
未來會怎樣究竟有誰會知道
幸福是否只是一種傳說 我永遠都找不到
＊我是一隻小小小小鳥
想要飛呀飛 卻飛也飛不高
我尋尋覓覓尋尋覓覓一個溫暖的懷抱
這樣的要求算不算太高------------------------------------->exactly how i feel now T_T
dear blog, i feel so emotionally drained right now...i will chat with you again, thanks for being my most faithful listener
Love,
Penny
