Dear Blog,
I feel the sudden urge to talk to you about my day. Today was really hectic...my preceptor suddenly had to take emergency leave because her husband is sick while my other preceptor is doing night call (meaning she comes in afternoon). All of the sudden, i am the only clinical pharmacist (although in training) around. Gosh, i felt the pressure at first...but after a while, i sudden feel the satisfaction of being a useful person. When my colleagues ask me questions and i was able to provide professional answers with confidence, i start to perhaps, begin to love my job
however, i think i'm developing workaholism , today i left work at 7.15pm. Yest, i left work at 9pm...hmm...i'm not actually paid for doing these extra hours, but yet i loved doing it and actually (surprisingly) felt energetic doing it. some might argue that i was only staying behind to watch handsome MO at work. hmmm...first of all....that adjective in the statement itself is debatable. second of all, i really am too busy trying to meet my clinical targets to worry about anything else atm.
but...on the drive back home, i did have a little time to think about the state of my urm...relationship status....well...i suppose i am looking for someone that is willing to perform CPR on my alr asystole heart........and the truth is....this person, can be anyone....i'm not picky....the only item i have on my checklist is that when i look at him, i know i am home, regardless of whether i am in the hospital, at a restaurant or even working in the field (an option which i am looking at in the future). i am looking for someone that no matter how long the day was, how tired i am, how sore my muscles are or even how smelly i am after a long day of work and no chance to shower, that one person that when i look into his eyes, i know i am home.
Sounds complicated but its simple really...i don't really care much about the amount of time we spend together, unanswered calls, ignored sms-es, missed movie dates/anniversaries, gifts of flowers and other fancy stuff...i dont need those...the amount of time is not important, it is the quality of time spent together. i am the kind of girl who goes out to buy herself a diamond ring just because i love that ring. i dont sit around and wait for someone to buy me the ring. if i like it and if i can afford it, i will buy it myself. its as simple as that.......at the end of the day, i suppose, i am just looking for emotional support, and perhaps, a bonus if there is a willing shoulder that i could lean on.
So here i am........waiting....wondering......how long a heart can stay asystole before it can no longer be revived..........
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