sadness envelopes me as i contemplate my action of past two weeks. out of kindness of my heart i told a friend the truth about another friend. i wanted to help, and i meant to help but instead i lost them both. sometimes i wonder whether it pays to be nice.
i thought i was never going to let another guy step between me and my good girlfriend. then again, it seems i am never learning from my mistakes arent i?
during nights like this i frequently thought of my ex-es, one which i left and another which left me. karma i suppose, i hurt someone so in the end i was hurt. ya, fair's fair i guess i dont have the right to complain. but Ryan, if you ever get the chance to read this, i just want to say, the wound you left in me never healed. Five years ago when you stopped loving me, u put a knife through me and that wound i doubt will ever heal. you are going to be a doctor but i doubt any medical knowledge you have gained or may gain would ever heal that wound you have caused. i hope you are happy now because although i'll never be i still wish you the world's happiness
whooosh...i've always wanted to say that but i don think i will ever be able to say it to his face..oh well...just as well he'll never read this
as for serena and jin hui..i'm sorry if i have hurt you both but i really hope that we can still be friends. if i repeat to myself a thousand times tonight "i shall not meddle", maybe it will stick.
i hope i will be able to fall asleep tonight.
P
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