World cup fever!!

Argentina into the semi finals! Wow, my idol and first time captain Lionel Messi has finally been able to propel his country through past quarter finals.

After the world cup started, I have somewhat caught the samba fever head on this time. Especially since my idol is captain of his team. From the beginning, I was genuinely worried for them because the whole team has not exactly given stellar performances for the last 4 matches they have played. I almost had a heart attack during the first knockout game too as they needed to go to extra time to score.

This samba fever in my system is not just rooting for a certain team as well. Its more of rooting for a person, that is of course Lionel who became the person I followed the most for the past 3 weeks whether in the news or in social media. I even went crazy enough to look up his charity organisation and considering to contribute as well as going relentlessly on amazon.com to try and buy his book Messi: Choose to believe which would cost probably a few hundred RM for it to be shipped to me.

Many may argue that my fascination for this soccer player is surely the school girl type or the tragical princess looking for prince charming kind of admiration. True, there maybe elements of that but my fascination with him begins 4 years ago in 2010 when I started watching the World Cup with genuine interest for the first time.

I should probably thank Walt for inducing my Messi-fever during that period, the thing about Lionel that impresses me the most is his loyalty to Barca. As I was told Lionel declared he will never leave Barca for whatever price unless he is sold because he remembers that at the time when he needed help the most, it is that FC that lends out a hand. For a young soccer player having the world under his feet to be able to withstand materialism and show much gratitude towards a benefactor, he truly did earned my respect. Then, there is his sob story of humble beginnings and struggles through a growth hormone deficiency problem since a young age. Instantly double that respect. He didn’t manage to score in 2010 but for the above stated reasons, Messi-fever lasted several months until after the tournament ends before dying down.

Fast forward to 2014, Messi-fever is back. Every single day my thoughts were given to this man, be it a few minutes to hours per day. Watching him evolve on the field, as his no.1 fan, tonight, I feel as I have evolved also. From the beginning I looked forward to see him scoring and my main point of checking the match results (the ones not involving Argentina) the following day would be to see if any of the top scorers had scored. To the point that when Germany played against France yesterday I was actually racing to see the scoreboard just to check if Mueller had scored. And I was pretty happy this morning when I saw that the 2 Brazilian goals weren’t from Neymar. I was pretty sad to see James somebody scoring.

All of that changed this afternoon after hearing the news of Neymar’s injury. One would think that I would be happy to have a golden boot contender out of the race. But I hear of the news of the injury upon reading Lionel’s message to Neymar wishing a speedy recovery. It virtually opened a can of worms for me. Instead of wishing he would score, I was praying that he wouldn’t be injured in any way during tonight’s match. As I watched Lionel play, I suddenly a sort epiphany, I realised that Lionel’s started playing with the team and not in the team. Especially the last two games where he set up goals instead of scoring them. I suddenly realised I could be just as happy watching him control the ball and then pass in on to others so that they could score. I mean, as a star player, the competition would center their defence plan on him. He uses that as an advantage, if he lures them away, he opens up spaces for his team mates to score. Di Maria did the last time, and Higuain did it today. That’s taking one for the team for you and watching him grow to become a Captain that controls and directs the team towards victory is so much more rewarding than a single goal for a personal few minutes of fame. Of course, scoring will be a big achievement for Lionel as he has yet to found a way past the Belgium goalkeeper in the past games they played against each other. Still, as I have thought earlier when Higuain scored, the team might benefit from a bit of feng shui. Meaning if fates dictate Lionel is never meant to score with that goalkeeper, let someone else do the scoring. Worked quite well but of course winning is the mainpoint while scoring against that particular goalkeeper is just icing on the cake. One icing that he will just have to do without this time.

My Messi-fever has gone up a different notch too. Instead of rooting for the man, I now seek to become the man. Even more so after I have read the first chapter of his book, Choose to believe. From a small town boy to a big star, his hurdles with needing financial support, the battle with growth hormone deficiency, death of his grandmother, being a loving father to Thiago, doing charity work through his Leo Messi Foundation to his recent appointment as UNICEF ambassador, he is a role model to look up to in every aspect. And I just found out he is 27, just like me and his birthday is on 24 June meaning he is exactly a month and 17 days younger than me. Yet he has achieved so much.

It made me reflect and think, Penny, what have you been doing your whole life?I now seek Lionel as inspiration. What makes him so successful? Is it his passion for playing football? Maybe, and he managed to make it his full time job too. Maybe I need to fine passion in my full time job or find a job that I am passionate about.

I used to be really good at stuff and then somewhere along the lines I have lost my mojo. I need to get it back. Bouncing up and down, since my high school graduation, I realised that I have never truly stopped obsessing about me. But I have also lost my confidence and gained a lot of weight on the way and somehow that is just unforgivable.

I am unable to go on writing as I have reached the part where I might just grind myself to dust for all the useless things I have done for the past 27 years of my life. Its time to move on. I need a kick. Hopefully a big one coming from Lionel Messi, my dearest idol. My message to Lionel: I know you strive to win the world cup for Argentina but I do hope that you stay safe for the next two games. You might not have that personal breakthrough you are hoping for but you are safe and your team is through, you will have more chances in the future. Gol o no gol usted es mi héroe. And I sincerely hope that Angel Di Maria would recover from injury well enough to play in the next two games. Making that man my second favourite Argentinian for his determination and superb runs in the matches.