Feelings

Dear blog,

i am so so stressed that i think i am self inducing nightmares. what is going on?i wonder sometimes...suddenly i remember what my psychiatrist and counselor told me that what i have been initially telling them when i relapsed was just a bunch of emotions and that i should write them out to better understand myself

i am feel fear, guilt a lot of times as i have a lot of pending work to do. yet. i do not have the motivation to do them.

i also fear migraine attack, developing diabetes and subsequently CHD.

i look into the mirror and i don't really like what i see. Too much fat, too puffy a face...flabby arms

physically, i feel pain, muscle cramps have been bothering me. nightmares make me sweat and palpitate as well as shaky hands. tears kept coming out of my right eye (weird). Lethargy...this feeling of physical exhaustion and heaviness i my chest everytime the sun comes down............

okay...i'm done with negative feelings...how about positive ones?

i spent the whole day with mom and dad yesterday....mom is so happy that she din complain of feeling tired or cold....

opportunity cost- a financial term i learn from jane and yien. i din get any work done but i spent time with family. and today. i am going to do it again. because i love them and they are all i have now.