The "incident"

The next time i opened my eyes, I was in the hospital. I had no idea what happened and the first person i saw when i opened my eyes was CY, my roommate and BFF. She said i have been unconscious for 3 days and they found me in front of the cafeteria toilets one morning.

I stayed in the Mater for 3 months. It is a good thing i was covered by insurance as i had a lot of physiotherapy to go through before i could walk properly again. I never remembered what happened that night and i never want to.

Life goes on as normal after the incident. I continued doing research. 3 months later, I realised that something is missing from my life. Something that should happen on a regular basis. My worst suspicion came through. I decided to visit the pharmacy to buy what i needed to confirm. The results came back positive.

What am i to do?I was devastated. I had no one and i am in the middle of my final year. I cant afford this. A thought crossed my mind. But..........i know i could never commit murder. I decided that i will take it one step at a time and when the time comes, i'll then decide what to do.

I read in the news recently regarding the story of the Princess suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum. She had the luxury of being hospitalised in the best hospital of the state and no doubt treated by the best doctor and most importantly loved by a wonderful husband, the handsome Prince. I on the other hand, bit on pieces of ginger to try and stop it. It was those days that i realised that friends are really the jewels of my life.

Besides keeping my dreadful secret, CY cooked my every meal and took care of every single aspect of my life that i could not handle through the last stages of my difficult situation. She took notes for me when i was too sick to attend lectures and covered my assignments for me, especially the group work ones. I had to give up on doing my honours research with Carl, as i was too sick to continue at the time. I did not feel it was fair to the rest of the members of the research group.

The day comes for our final exam...............................i am really going to graduate.............it was towards the end of my last paper....when i felt it.........the strangest sensation of needing to go to the toilet. I quickly finished what i could and raised my hand to hand in the paper. Suddenly..my water broke. Til today i can still remember the horrid smell, as i am sure the rest of the 600 students in the exam hall would too....

It was a difficult delivery. I was only 20 years old. What could i do?